In Terms of my Photo Work

So in regards to what i've been doing with my photography for seminar. I've recently did a shoot in the studio of myself. I was just exploring shooting myself and figuring out what I was comfortable with because knowing what I was comfortable with helps in understanding who I am. Below is my favorite photograph from the shoot. I feel that this photo shows the part of me that is comfortable with who I am. I beginning to realize that I am accepting myself for who I am and becoming comfortable in my own skin. This is a girl that is accepting of her natural beauty and not afraid to show it.

Another thing I had been experimenting with while I was down in Maryland was shooting landscape out the window of the car while on route to where ever we were headed. I choose to not let the driver pull over the car because I wanted to see what I could shoot while in motion, which in turn gave me a view of Maryland that I could only get in that way as if I was trying to get to know the area and but didn't have time to stop. I watched the landscape for composition as we drove and shot when I saw something of interest taking many photos of the same thing hoping for a good shot. 

I was very interested in shooting the landscape down in Maryland. There is so much beauty to be captured and I look forward to being able to capture more of it. I look forward to being able to call this place my home in June. I shot the landscapes in terms of thinking about my senior seminar project because I have mostly been doing work in terms of emotions or specifics to me. I wanted to be able to capture the environment in which my life is taking place. These landscapes are part of me, they are part of what my life is.

Paintings thus far

So I've been working on a couple of paintings. Each of these paintings concerning a different part of who I am. The first one deals with my struggle of figuring out who I am and the confusion that comes with it. The red one is a painting i am doing that deals with me accepting the feminine part of me and this beauty that I have. Its all about beauty. Its me accepting my body as it is and being okay with it. It's me accepting that I am beautiful and knowing that I am.

The one that has two panels to create one piece started out as a completely different piece. It had a much more lighter, softer feel about it and just wasn't getting a crossed what i wanted to have come across. Then again I suppose I didn't really know what I wanted from the piece at first and that was the problem i was doing this one thing and my intuition was wanting me to do something else. The painting had just looked wrong to me so i forgot about ruining the piece, figured out what i wanted to come across in it, and just went at it. I decided that I  wanted the piece to have this sexual, kinkiness to it. These panels i am using to express a part of me that no one really knows about. A side that no one gets to see ever except when it tends to come out during my work and of course my significant other gets to see this. But even more so with him because no one but him, not any other guy, knows this part of me.  

To explain this other painting I have to tell you that I have recently decided to go to culinary school. How I came about the decision of needing to go was while I was sitting in my Senior Seminar class we had a visiting artist in talking to us about what happens after we get out of school. This then made me wonder why on earth I didn't go to culinary school instead. I have been wondering this for the four years i've been at this school. So with the support of people I looked into schools and have found one to go to. I have now felt the need to explore this part of me and explore baking through my art especially since i've been struggling with the idea of being here any more, because i want nothing more then to run off to Maryland and go to culinary school. In this one piece I used flour to create this. I plan to explore more over my time here mixing baking with art. Exploring making editable art as well as making art that appears to be editable though none of it is. I think this is a way for me to deal with my struggle of wanting to be in culinary school now as well as getting me through my senior year. 

My Studio

This is my studio where I create my paintings. I am working a couple of paintings and also have some new photo work also I shot while down in Maryland. I have one painting started thats about the emotions of sadness i've been going through over the stress in life. Another painting started is turning into a diptych about my relationship with my new boyfriend. I will post pictures of those when i get a chance to take some pictures of them at their current state.


This is one of the photos I took while in Maryland playing with shooting myself in the environment I am in to create context and give a personality to the people in the photograph. Unlike before where i shot them on a black background giving the viewer no idea anything about these people, essentially the people not having an identity.

This is another photo I took while in Maryland taking the advice of my adviser in experimenting with telling more about something by showing less then showing everything. He wanted me to try telling me more about someone but just showing maybe like hands. That would be more sensual then full blown sexual almost pornographic image.

First Projects

So i've started creating work for Senior Seminar. I've built a couple of panels and have gotten some stuff down on them. One aspect of myself i plan to concentrate on is how much i've moved around and how important aspects of my life are all along the East Coast. Im starting off with maps that pinpoint important parts of my life and where they are located. From there I will use a mixed media method to complete the painting.

I have also started work on a small panel which I feel really good about working on. I think it will be a challenge to work this small but as if working on a more intimate scale will help in making my work my personal. I think I may try to do a few paintings that are no bigger than 1'x2' large. Spending my senior year doing work about me I feel that a more intimate approach might be a more logical way of going about my paintings. 

While talking with Ethan about my work he pointed out something I had said while we were talking. I had said, Finally a guy who treats me right. This is a sentence that he said I should consider when creating my work. I think this is a good starting point considering the way I've been treated by guys in the past.  

Senior Seminar

I've decided to create this blog to document the work I am doing in my senior year. Im about two weeks in and have my own studio now. The stress has already come down with a move coming up and working three jobs, but im sure ill manage. I plan to use this blog to help me sort through ideas and for you guys to watch the developments in myself as I start to discover myself through my work.

You see over the years i've really lost who I am and over the past year i've made alot of progress in starting to see the person I really am, not the person I was trying to be to make others happy. I realized that I  needed to be happy before I could make others happy. So for Senior Seminar I plan to create a body of work that is all about me exploring who I am, who I was and how thats shaped who I am now, as well as exploring the relationships I have with people that have come and gone from my life.

The work that has been the start of this projects are these.  A mixed media painting as well as a set of photographs. Below I have posted two examples of the photographs.